Episode 91: A message for you
12/25/24
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You are listening to the Life Reconstructed podcast with me, Teresa Amaral Beshwate, grief expert, best-selling author and widow. I’m so glad you’re here because in this and every episode, I shine a light on the widowed way forward.
Hello and welcome to episode 90. In this episode, I issue a loving reminder that you can do this day, why your past proves it, and I shine a ray of hope for the future.
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You might be listening to this episode as it’s released, on Christmas day, on the day before Hanukkah, just a few days prior to New Year’s Eve. Or maybe you’re listening much later.
No matter when you tune in, there’s something I want you to hear today.
You can do this day.
No matter what this day is bringing.
Maybe it’s packing a punch. Maybe life is throwing yet another curveball.
Or maybe it’s just another day in the surreal life you didn’t sign up for.
In any case, you can do it.
You’ve listened to platitudes and been told how “strong” you are, which feels anything but true. Whatever “strong” was before, isn’t what it is now.
Strength looks different now.
Strength is when you’ve done thousands of hard things since you lost your person. Early on, it was getting out of bed and getting through the day. Those took all the strength you had.
Since then, you’ve probably fixed broken things, replaced appliances, waded through the paperwork, and got the car fixed.
In the worst chapter of your life, you’ve been figuring things out. Troubleshooting. Making decisions. All without your person by your side. Not physically, anyway.
You keep showing up, doing your best, and yes, it’s messy because grief is messy. But you haven’t quit.
You’ve navigated difficult relationships, and you’ve weathered secondary losses.
You’ve learned how to hide your grief at times, around certain people.
You’ve been through the unthinkable. And you can do today, too.
You might think that it will always be like this. That the hits will always keep coming. That the way you feel now is how you’ll always feel. That it will never get better than this.
And that is simply not true.
Grief is always changing.
You are growing and changing.
Your capacity is expanding.
By that I mean, your capacity to keep going, no matter what.
And your brain’s capacity to heal, to learn again, to rewire itself to understand your reality.
I know it’s a painful process. Growth is that way.
It’s tough to recognize your own growth, your progress, your strength.
Today I encourage you to pause, to make yourself see it all. To take it in. To appreciate it. To thank your former self for continuing to show up, no matter how painful or messy.
Stand on that foundation today.
And from there, know that there’s a future version of you, too. She feels joy, version 2.0. Peace version 2.0. She’s fearless because she’s already stepped through the worst life had to offer. She’s created a full, meaningful life for herself. One that includes and honors her person. She’s so grateful to live this life, so grateful she persevered, so grateful that she allowed herself to dream again.
She is you.
I hope that this episode makes you feel less alone, more seen and understood. That it reminds you of your strength. And that it gives you hope.
I hope you know that you are loved exactly as you are.
Be gentle with yourself today, and every single other day.
Love is the way forward.
If this episode was helpful, please share it with a widowed friend who needs to hear it. And remember that I believe in you, and I’m here for you. Take care.
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If you’ve found this podcast helpful, my best-selling book, also called Life Reconstructed, will help even more. It’s available by going to www.thesuddenwidowcoach.com/lrbook I’ll send you a signed copy of the book, the accompanying journal, plus you’ll get instant access to a 3-part video series that will help you right away. Again, go to www.thesuddenwidowcoach.com/lrbook
