Why Negative is Natural

Last week’s blog described the primitive nature of our human brains, and that the brain’s main objective is to keep us alive. Although we are not likely to be attacked by a tiger today, our hard-wired brains are always on the lookout, constantly analyzing situations and quickly categorizing that which is safe or dangerous.

So, it’s no surprise that brains are good at finding the negative. Back in the day, the brain had to quickly and efficiently determine whether there was a rock or a snake in the grass. Assuming it was a snake was the better, safer option.

Those with brains most successful at spotting danger lived to reproduce, so we are the proud owners of brains that have outstanding ability to spot anything negative, which could very likely mean danger.  

Now add grief, and you’ve got a traumatized brain operating on overdrive, convinced that danger is everywhere, constantly seeking and readily finding the negative.

This is called negativity bias, and it is nothing more than our primitive brains doing their best to keep us alive.

Luckily, we have other parts of the brain more in tune with life in modern times. The prefrontal cortex can recognize the primitive brain’s focus on the negative, understand why it is happening, and then intentionally change the channel.

We can acknowledge the valiant efforts of the primitive brain and then demand equal airtime for what is right, what is working, what is positive.

Once we recognize our bias toward negativity and understand why, we realize how much control we have. We can separate the facts from the thoughts and remember that thoughts are not always true or useful, but they are always 100% optional.

So today, direct your brain to change the channel.

• What else is true?
• Where are there glimmers of goodness, even in this life after loss?

If you ask your brain to look, it will find them.

If you are stuck on the negativity channel and can’t seem to find the remote, I’ve curated the best tools to help. My private coaching program called Life Reconstructed can help you find your way to forgiveness, on your terms. If you’re ready to invest in yourself and take bigger strides toward a life you love, simply apply here and we’ll see if it’s a fit.