When you feel stuck

Some days, you find yourself deep in the mire of misery. You are functioning again, yet in a surreal world in which you don’t recognize yourself or your life.

You think you should be further along by now, with some sort of new purpose, or at least getting an occasional glimpse of the you that you once knew.

You feel incredibly stuck, with seemingly no way out.

When you find yourself in this place, there are 4 things you can do.

1. First, notice your internal dialogue. Is it kind and gentle, or harsh and judgmental? Write down your thoughts.
2. Then, give yourself a moment to recognize that catastrophe that leveled your life, and its wide-reaching impact. Look around at your life and tell yourself, “Losing my person is exactly this hard.”
3. Next, remember all that you have done since that devastating day: the decisions you’ve made, the pain you’ve endured, the paperwork completed, the getting out of bed, the drawing the next breath, and so on.  
4. Finally, commit to being curious instead of judgmental.

It can sound like:

Okay, today I’m tearful by 9 am. This is what I’ve got today.

Giving away the dishes had a bigger impact than I had expected. Interesting.

My Easter plans didn’t go as I had hoped. I’ll plan differently next year.

To the degree that you can observe your journey without judgement, you will learn and grow. You’ll begin to see grieving as learning. Which feels very different than being stuck.

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