When you feel disloyal

When your person passed, grief was like a bomb that dropped into your life, impacting every single aspect of your existence. And you felt a steady stream of horrific, unprecedented difficult emotions.  

It’s likely that 100% of the emotions you felt were profoundly difficult, and this lasted for quite some time.

We become familiar with this discomfort, so it can be startling when you actually feel a twinge of happiness, or laugh out loud, or truly enjoy a meal with a friend.

These comfortable, pleasant emotions catch you off guard. And it can feel as though you’re being disloyal to your late spouse.

But the truth is that loyalty isn’t dependent on feeling terrible. That wasn’t true in life, and it isn’t true in death.

For me, being loyal to my late husband means honoring him, and integrating him into the life I’m creating.

By that definition, laughter and joy honor him.

Fully living my one precious life honors him.

Living big enough for the two of us honors him.

Dreaming big honors him.  

And yes, the authentic human experience means feeling uncomfortable emotions too. So we allow for those and experience them fully.

Define loyalty for yourself. Then ask yourself how your own happiness is a form of loyalty.

If you find yourself stuck, this is what we do inside Life Reconstructed, my coaching program exclusively for widowed people. We challenge our own thinking, find new ways forward and create a life we can love again. Simply click below to begin.