Time Passes Anyway

When my husband’s life ended so unexpectedly, I remember thinking, how dare the world keep turning when my world has stopped. Time seemed to march forward without my consent, without my participation.

Like many widowed people, I dreaded the evenings and weekends, when time seems to march more slowly and painfully, highlighting the absence of my person. A two-day weekend felt more like two weeks.

I knew that time didn’t heal. It only forced me forward into a life I didn’t choose.

Time was not my friend.

Can you relate?

The truth is that time passes anyway, with or without our consent, with or without our participation.

I opted out for the first few years.

• I opted out of real healing.
• I opted out of making meaningful progress with my grief.
• I opted out of using time as an opportunity.

If only I had the tools then that I have now, I would have used my time with so much intention. If I could do it all over, I would do two important things:

1. Monitor my thoughts carefully, noticing which were true and which were not, and noticing whether my thoughts served me or not.
2. Select thoughts that are true and serve me well, and think those thoughts, on purpose, every single day.

It requires an open-mindedness; a willingness to reconsider what currently seems true, and a readiness to consider other possibilities. In a word, it requires intentionality.

Time will pass anyway. You can certainly choose to opt out like I did, but it is hard.

Being intentional in the ways I’ve described is also hard.

It’s a matter of choosing which version of hard will help you move forward into a life of your own creation.

You had no choice in the circumstances that got you here. But you can choose the life you want for yourself now. You already know that life can be brutal. Now you can learn to create one that is also beautiful.

My coaching program called Life Reconstructed was designed for this purpose. Simply click here and we’ll see if it’s a fit.