How to tell the salt from the wound

As you know too well, losing a spouse creates a horrific wound in the depths of the soul. You’ve lost your shared past, his physical presence, and the future you planned and worked so hard for. The sadness is unprecedented. The wound is deep.

But wait…..there is more.

Many people who have lost a spouse also deal with extra suffering that is like salt in the wound. It might sound like:

I have to be sad because he isn’t here.

I should have been able to save him.

I didn’t love him enough.

I could have been a better wife.

The length of my misery should equal the depth of my love.

The salt in the wound is often made up of the words “should have or could have.” It includes thoughts that are not true, or that simply do not serve us.

Unlike other living creatures, we humans have the ability to think about what we think about – to consider whether our thoughts are true and serving us, and to then think intentionally.

What is hurting you the most - the wound, or the salt?

My wound was gaping, and I filled it full of salt. It took years for me to distinguish between the two. Then I became a life coach to help other widowed people avoid the salt and focus instead on healing the wound.

If you’re struggling to sort out the salt from the wound, my coaching program called Life Reconstructed can help. Simply click here and we’ll see if it’s a fit.