Failing forward

Navigating life after profound loss can feel like one failure after another. One step forward and two steps back is a familiar shuffle.  But what if failure was the currency to finding your way forward?

As they learn to walk, babies fall often. Each fall could be called a failure, but actually it is by falling that they learn how to balance. Notice that babies are undeterred by the thousands of times they fall, and adults never say, “That one isn’t ever going to learn to walk.” We never see a baby fall and consider it a failure.

Although most people acknowledge that more is learned from failure than success, no one wants to fail. We are conditioned to avoid failure. In school, we strive for the A. Employees reach for the highest possible marks on the performance appraisal. Athletes compete for the win.

It takes courage to be a beginner. Most people are so fearful of failing that they refuse to try. They hide away in the familiar, no matter how miserable it is. When the fear of failure is paralyzing, we fail ahead of time.

When we do fail, we feel like a failure. We make it mean something about us: our worthiness, our capabilities, our intellect.

There is a big difference between failing and being a failure.

The most successful people are standing on the biggest piles of failure. In contrast, others had one or two failures and threw in the towel.

“The fears we don’t face become our limits,” is a favorite quote of mine by Robin Sharma.

What if failure were the currency to growth? If so, then failure becomes the path to the goal. We would be willing to fail forward toward the goal. Because if we fail, then we are taking action. We are putting ourselves out there. We are learning and revising our strategy.

The worst thing that can happen is a feeling: disappointment, discouragement, maybe frustration. Yet we who have lost a spouse know much more difficult feelings than these.

Now may be the time to live big. To step outside of your comfort zone and take action. To fail forward toward the life you want to live. What do you have to lose?

If you’re kicking yourself over past failure or paralyzed by fear of failure, my six-month private coaching program called Life Reconstructed can help. If you’re ready to invest in a solution unlike anything you’ve ever tried, simply apply here and we’ll see if it’s a fit.