Envy, widowed style

Envy is known as the art of counting another’s blessings instead of your own. Like every other thing that changes with the loss of a spouse, we suddenly have new reasons to be envious.

Seeing an older couple walking hand in hand can be like a gut punch, right when you least expect it. They have exactly what we don’t: the blessing of growing old together.

Like every other feeling, envy comes from our thoughts. We tell ourselves that the couple has been married more than 50 years. They promised forever and they’re living it now, hand in hand, for better or worse. They got lucky, while we got cheated.

It can be tough to count our blessings when chief among them was ripped from our lives.

Thoughts like these create suffering  that we pile on top of the pain that comes from losing our other half. As if the pain weren’t enough.

What if that older couple were actually a widow and a widower who found each other late in life and courageously decided that their hearts were capable of even more love, that life could actually be beautiful again?

If that were true, envy quickly turns to inspiration.

Even if it weren’t true, envy robs us of our peace. It makes us even more miserable. It is a special kind of torture.

Our thoughts are always 100% optional. For every thought that our brains offer us, an infinite number of other thoughts are available and equally true. Since thoughts create feelings, we therefore have the power to feel any feeling (as long as it’s coming from a thought that we authentically believe).

Consequently, we need not suffer with envy. Not only because it feels rotten, but also because we can redirect our energy to processing the pain  that comes with loss – which is time well spent.

If you’re green with envy that you can’t seem to shake, my six-month private coaching program called Life Reconstructed can help. Simply click here and we’ll see if it’s a fit. If not, I’ll offer other resources to help.